Looking back, three years ago I never would have imagined myself being where I am today. Never even thought it was possible to have such friends that actually care about me. And definitely didn't know of what a real home should be. I've never really been the "normal" girl, always quiet, just a loner, basically. I was young when my family stopped going to church. Maybe around five, six, seven, I don't know for sure. I was in seventh grade before I ever walked into another church. Going for all the wrong reasons, I still can't really remember if I learned anything about God or not. I came for my friends, just a hang out where we got to spend time together. I remember in the middle of the services the preacher would always interrupt himself with a laugh and say, "Teenagers, caught you not paying attention, move up to the front." It wasn't really as controlling as it just sounded, but yeah. A pentecostal church, looking back I wonder why they still consider themselves such. Quiet as mice and never even leaving their pews. I really just went along with everything, not really knowing what I was doing, just going with the flow. After all, I was only twelve years old. I guess I just wasn't old enough to know any better. I guess I randomly just stopped going to church, I don't really remember.
But somehow in eighth grade I began to go through an awkward stage. I mean, I know I'm an awkward person now, but just imagine me, about ten times more awkward. I'm going to call this my "dark stage" because that's basically what it was. I relied on the world for my happiness, which in the end only makes you miserable. I acted like a complete idiot, basically. I let the devil use me, let him embroil my mind. I always thought I was clever because I thought different than everyone else. Now I know it's a blessing from God, but yet the devil still uses it against me to this day. Manipulating my mind, I was molded into an atheist. I don't know another way to put it, other than I was careless, stupid. I probably influenced others I didn't even know. No one really tried to change my mind, no one even asked me about it. Only three people acted like they even cared. I was in a relationship, I guess. Him, his best friend (who is still my friend), and Paige Maggard were the only ones to tell me how stupid I was being. They were the only ones who tried to help me. I still thank God for them.
Life as an eighth grader was officially over, I didn't know what would be next in my life. Finally, God began to work. I met up with my cousin, Danielle Owens, and she invited me to Teen Camp. I packed up and went, taking my best friend with me. My first time at Teen Camp was something...crazy. It felt like home. I didn't know everyone, I just knew a couple people to be honest. But somehow, it felt like a true home to me. God opened my eyes, he made me realize that I needed him. It made my summer the best one of my entire life, honestly. I got saved on July 14, 2009. People think they've gotten saved in odd places; I kneeled down in my shower and asked God for forgiveness. My freshman year started. This was the beginning of something beautiful.
The past ten months really haven't been easy on me. Having a real relationship with God has opened up so many doors for me, though. Things I couldn't do back then, I can now do with ease. God's blessed me with a lot of patience and faith and I couldn't picture where I'd be right now if He hadn't taken away all my heartache and sorrow. He's taken away the anger and bitterness I've had bottled up inside me. He's replaced it with peace and joy, not the happiness that this world beckons you with. I've learned that the happiness here is limited, in the end it only brings misery. I've been praying that my best friends will soon have their eyes open, so they'll finally realize that what they can get here is nothing compared to the eternal life and God's promises for his followers. Not long after Teen Camp, I remember Cait talking to me. She would say "God, for the win." And now I can think of that, and just cry, wishing this never would have even been an option for her. I'm still struggling with my temper and some other things, but I know that if I keep faith in God, he will take it all away and replace it with positive emotions. The other night I sitting in the back of Randy Craft's car with my best friend Mckayla, she asked me, "Kara, a year ago, would you ever believe we would be in the trunk of a policeman's car with a pink toilet in the middle of the night?" No, I never would have imagined God would bless me with such a wonderful family, never in a million years.
But somehow in eighth grade I began to go through an awkward stage. I mean, I know I'm an awkward person now, but just imagine me, about ten times more awkward. I'm going to call this my "dark stage" because that's basically what it was. I relied on the world for my happiness, which in the end only makes you miserable. I acted like a complete idiot, basically. I let the devil use me, let him embroil my mind. I always thought I was clever because I thought different than everyone else. Now I know it's a blessing from God, but yet the devil still uses it against me to this day. Manipulating my mind, I was molded into an atheist. I don't know another way to put it, other than I was careless, stupid. I probably influenced others I didn't even know. No one really tried to change my mind, no one even asked me about it. Only three people acted like they even cared. I was in a relationship, I guess. Him, his best friend (who is still my friend), and Paige Maggard were the only ones to tell me how stupid I was being. They were the only ones who tried to help me. I still thank God for them.
Life as an eighth grader was officially over, I didn't know what would be next in my life. Finally, God began to work. I met up with my cousin, Danielle Owens, and she invited me to Teen Camp. I packed up and went, taking my best friend with me. My first time at Teen Camp was something...crazy. It felt like home. I didn't know everyone, I just knew a couple people to be honest. But somehow, it felt like a true home to me. God opened my eyes, he made me realize that I needed him. It made my summer the best one of my entire life, honestly. I got saved on July 14, 2009. People think they've gotten saved in odd places; I kneeled down in my shower and asked God for forgiveness. My freshman year started. This was the beginning of something beautiful.
The past ten months really haven't been easy on me. Having a real relationship with God has opened up so many doors for me, though. Things I couldn't do back then, I can now do with ease. God's blessed me with a lot of patience and faith and I couldn't picture where I'd be right now if He hadn't taken away all my heartache and sorrow. He's taken away the anger and bitterness I've had bottled up inside me. He's replaced it with peace and joy, not the happiness that this world beckons you with. I've learned that the happiness here is limited, in the end it only brings misery. I've been praying that my best friends will soon have their eyes open, so they'll finally realize that what they can get here is nothing compared to the eternal life and God's promises for his followers. Not long after Teen Camp, I remember Cait talking to me. She would say "God, for the win." And now I can think of that, and just cry, wishing this never would have even been an option for her. I'm still struggling with my temper and some other things, but I know that if I keep faith in God, he will take it all away and replace it with positive emotions. The other night I sitting in the back of Randy Craft's car with my best friend Mckayla, she asked me, "Kara, a year ago, would you ever believe we would be in the trunk of a policeman's car with a pink toilet in the middle of the night?" No, I never would have imagined God would bless me with such a wonderful family, never in a million years.
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